It's at this point that I either usually binge after calling my SO. As of late my significant other however has been pissing me off and as my coping mechanism I've been throwing large amounts of food out. Tonight was was I've deemed a last supper. Yes today was Easter and as my SO implies holidays like that are for kids and not important religious wise or manufacturing wise. I'm going to do the tossing out of some more food in the hope that I wont have to be "forced" to eat it. Tomorrow is my significant others day off and I'm going to be at school most of the day so I'm going to try and not bring dinner "up". I have to make it so I can always do something to it I suppose. I have to be extra careful at this point because of two things. I've been wearing loads of clothes and I have new scares.
I feel a sadness welling up in my soul and a pain in my heart
I want to be left alone for a while with my thoughts
It's really painful for me to talk about death, but I have to do it
I feel like an empty shell just going through the motions
My school mind then usually gives rise to panic. I feel like some people can see right through me and it terrifies me. I haven't got the time to let what haunts me haunt me with the amount of work I have due this week. Wow this post is completely discombobulated and probably in some places contradictory. But anyway I digress with a plan!
I'm going to go to the gym this week all seven days-my goal for the week is to drop 5lbs.
No comments:
Post a Comment