The Long Haul

It's come to my attention that I no longer have to attend track practice and that my internship will be ending on Wed. All that is left is past due work, presentations, and final exams. I have promised myself that this summer is going to be different and failed each year. I have been binging for a week nearly and it literally is unacceptable. I've gotten through the days better this way, but when I'm alone the stories different. Some people in my life seem to think that depression is either a joke or an excuse to not get things done. I sometimes feel like I'm living on a completely different planet. I've cut several times within the month of April and now have numerous scares, with no answers for them other then I don't know how that happened? If I actually get through everything this semester I will be amazed. I'm going to fast off this weekend into Tuesday and try to literally not breakdown. It's so scary sometimes not to say what is on the tip of my tongue-like oh by the way sometimes I wish I could just take a bottle of pills and know that I'm not going to die because sometimes I just feel dead inside.