Cut

Last night I had a dream that surprised me-I dreamed that I relapsed into my disordered eating. I feel back into a pattern that made me feel safe. For the past 4 days I've had this urge to cut and it's making me feel very uncomfortable. I can literally picture taking a blade and just making a huge cut. One of the only reasons why I've not done it is because I don't want to have to explain why I did it or what might have caused it. I like having control over what I do and don't eat, but it's also stressful. I feel fat...and needless to say i am