I have to.

I have to do better-the worlds moved on and as sad as I can be, I can't be. I feel really good some days and awful others. I'm exhausted most of the time and oh yeah I weigh about 133 so I've lost a little-it really does depend on if I eat a lot or a little though. For about a month now I've felt out-smarted, like I was dumb and slow. The students in my classes all have a present goal or at least that's my conjecture. I feel like I don't have any friends in my psychology program. I don't know anyone-and at times it's not a really big deal, but at others it's what leaves me feeling even more lonely then I was before. I'm not supposed to be doing this alone. Last semester was a mess and I don't even want to know what people thought of me then. I've never been traditional in the sense of anything. I either overdue it or just don't even try at all. I know that there are people to support me in what I'm doing-but sometimes I just need more. I need to know that even if I do screw up their love is unconditional and it doesn't feel that way. I have a ungodly schedule this semester and I set it up this way. I did it because last semester I almost had to much time to think about how pitiful my life actually was. I have to try and set attainable goals for myself and that seems exhausting at times. I said I wasn't going to use excuses anymore-and yet I still have. Life knows how to put you flat on the floor.

Resolve.Resilience.Strength. all things that make me who I am.