I can't exactly pin point it but I feel weak and tired and I can remember how I felt way back when. I can't even say it out loud. No one knows I'm struggling with my body image, who should care though right? I hate everything about my body, it's awful, I lack confidence and I just want to loose weight-a lot of weight, enough to look sick. I want to stop eating, but I don't have enough sophistication to hide what I really want to be doing. I need a guise, tips something to sink my teeth into; a goal that's not only shared by me but someone else too. Someone to compare notes food with; a real competitor.
I think I'm going to start a list of things I'm not allowed to eat or drink:
Soda-I've developed an affinity to Dr. Pepper and way back when it was orange soda.
Starchy substances-stuff like potatoes, crackers, non-wholegrain bread, breaded items.
-when I was growing up I was forced to eat a ton of potatoes and for the most part I don't eat a lot of potatoes but, I do eat crackers and mostly because of the salt. Instead of a sweets tooth I have a salt tooth so my problem basically is that I retain a ton of salt even though I drink a lot of water.
-when I was also growing up I had to eat a lot of pasta, rice and sauce. I've moved away from that but since it's quick and easy, lasts forever, and for the most part I don't eat now.
I like fruit-this is tricky though because some are really sweet and others not so much. Vegtables are good but I loose interest in them, don't have them everyday and am very picky when it comes to them.
So Goals for the week:
Limit the amount of cream that I put in my coffee.
Limit my meals to one, without snacks in between.
If I do have one meal to not eat after 7 P.M.
Write down all of what I eat.
QuietLiLier
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