Beautifully Restless

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Feeling weak and tired.

I took the last of the vitamins I had and plan on getting more-but I'm getting weak and tired from them. I hate the feelings I'm getting from them-but at the same time I'm losing weight. I am down to 130.6 and I'd like to get to 113.6 by the end of May. I feel like crying because I don't feel like anyone can save me now. I'm just moving further away from the girl I once knew. I want to change the things that I can't. I can't tell anyone what really does bother me, because if I said I had an eating disorder no one would believe me. I'm too fat. When I started my blog I had more anorexic tendencies then bulimic ones and now the tables are turned. I don't want to be saved, I want to go down the path I'm going and just end up somewhere. I walked/ran today and my right knee is killing me. I would have gone further, but it was cold and sprinkling out. I ended up with an intake of just under 1000 calories. I have the next two days off which means that I'm probably going to gain three four five pounds because of the bf. Thinking about it kinda makes me mad-because he eats a lot of junk food and it entices me. If I don't eat it, he makes jokes and kinda makes fun of me.

I think I need some help to care-I was supposed to talk to my bff but I didn't. Signed Tired and Weak.

2 comments:

  1. I'm the same. I feel I am a completely different person because of this. Someone I don't even know or like. It changes you so much.
    We're around the same weight and have a similar goal for the end of May. Definitely take care of yourself. Feeling weak and tired is no fun.

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  2. Hey! Thanks for the comment. I hate how when I need to do the most things I feel the most tired :)

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