Feeling tired and a bit resigned to the fact I'm fat.

It's pretty close to winter here in New England. I usually don't like the weather or this time of year. It's a time where I am  stuck inside and have to find something to do. I get board and if i can't find something to do I eat for no good reason really. I haven't purged in about a week, but have been feeling odd. I think I'm coming down with a cold because I've been congested a lot lately. I weighed myself and I'm up to 139. I don't know how this is happening! If I eat less I weigh more. I can't seem to control myself and feel as if I might resort to the only thing that did keep my weight in check. I'm at a wits end and I'm tired of living in a fat suit. It's not pretty and I'm not happy. ....so I just weighed myself 137.6..still too high!