Inside A Restless Soul: Sigh-dedicated to M.P.C 2/7/87-5/6/11

It has been over a month since I posted and it's because so much has happened. On May 6th my brother passed away from a long time illness at the age of 24. I can talk about his passing but writing about his passing is different. I don't honestly want to remember the Friday he passed or the phone call I received or my reaction to both. It is so fucking hard to smile and I'm so much deeper saddened then anyone else seems to be aside from my mom. We both knew that he was going to pass eventually but didn't expect it to be as randomized as it was. I can't express in words how much I seriously miss him so I'm not going to try.

I will say this though; Michael

Not a day goes by that I don't think of you,

I tried to come up with words to sum up who you were,

They're aren't any that are good enough.

The sunshine you brought others always brightened even the most thunderous of your sky's.

You touched lives in ways I believe you couldn't even imagine.

I'm a better person because of you.

When the storms came you weathered them, when the pain was to much to bear you bared it.

Some of us are given choices, you choose Christ when he called your name and eventually home,

What a glorious site it must be, now your body is free,

No more sorrow, No more pain.

I was blessed to have known you and now I can sing

Christ can you hear me? If you can I need you.

Your are my sunshine-Unknown

I listened to this song in the days after his passing it made me cry, but it has a soothing melody.

Amazing Grace- Leann Rimes

The day that my brother passed away a man that's never been in either of our lives wrote to say that he was sorry for my loss. That man was my biological father and in order to get through the day without having an anxiety attack I just listened to this over and over again. If there's anything that I ever learned from my brother; it was to find forgiveness, and I pray someday I will for my father.

Tears In Heaven-Eric Clapton