I feel better ill-Purging.

A lot has been on my mind lately. I haven't had vitamins for close to a month and was doing well. I have hope that someday I'll get up the courage to stop, but not today. I have a lot of unresolved feelings involving my father. I hate feeling stressed out by it. I have a lot of questions, but an unwillingness to ask them. I don't understand after 25 years why he all of a sudden cares. I have nothing to offer him-I'm empty and broken. I'm MAD as hell! My brother meant the world to me, he's not here and I'm left to pick up the pieces that were lost a long time ago by myself. I wanted to matter to my father when my brother should have mattered to my father. I've had nearly two years to reflect on how I feel about my father, and my opinion of him really hasn't changed. I'm still MAD.