It's all in the Coffee

Without coffee I get headaches, and with coffee I don't get headaches. It boils down to caffeine. I have a few plans for the next week that some could argubly say are dangerous and unhealthy. I'm going to take my food intake from about 1500-2000 to 400-500. I have vacation and work that's it. I don't know how I'm going to do it, but i'm going to try. I weigh about 133 lbs and by the time I go back to school I'd like to weigh about 125 lbs.
On another note, I've been intrigued about something for a little while and up to this point have been candid with those that I believe to be trust worthy. Cutting is a form of self injury and can occur due to many causes. Most individuals that cut are young women. I am one of those in a sea of statistics. One day when I was in the library last week I came across a book that both intrigued me and got me wondering about why I do/did it.
I have had a lot on my mind lately and not had anyone to really express how much it's bothered me. I'm supposed to be fine with everything, fine with death; after all it happens all the time. I should be happy that I'm not being driven crazy, but in a possibly sick way I miss it. I feel like I'm being exposed, like i'm a phoney. I don't think I believe I'm beautiful. If I had to write about how I actually feel about myself it would resemble the definition of someone who has body dysmorphic disorder. I wish that I was sick-sickly skinny, who wishes that? Someone who's sick right.

So today I did binge-crazy right....but I figured if it was the last day I could eat, drink etc anything, i'd just do that. I'm going to as a way of keeping focused actually keep my food intake on here-so I don't eat crap. Eating healthy is good and eating less is even healther.

This is what I want to look like:

Right now I'd imagine that I'm at lwast 30lbs from this.

QuietLiLier